


Countdowns

by summer_in_jun



Category: Kpop - Fandom, NCT (Band)
Genre: December - Freeform, Gen, Multi, New Year, Sad, i love you ot7, late night fic, mark/everyone - Freeform, my messed up emotions, nct dream graduation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-16 18:23:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16959183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summer_in_jun/pseuds/summer_in_jun
Summary: Time is counting down to midnight, and Mark and the Dreamies spend their last few minutes together as NCT DREAM.aka: sad one shot that i randomly wrote late at night cause i felt emotional





	Countdowns

**Author's Note:**

> Based off the song Countdowns by sleeping at last. Check them out, their songs are soo good

_I am happy, I am thankful and I am proud_ __  
_said with a smile for the cameras at the countdown_ __  
_but if I'm honest, I am seconds from breaking down_   
as you orbit, gravity throws me to the ground

  


“Any last words for the Nctzens?” Renjun asked, and all heads turned to him. Mark swallowed, watching the managers stand in the back, looking at him; the camera turning to zoom in on his face, the vlive coming to an end. _His last one with them._

 

“Thank you,” He said finally, “Thank you for supporting us this whole time. I’m so proud of everything that’s happened, and it’s all been because of you. Thank you for giving us this amazing opportunity, and I hope you’ll continue to support them and myself as we do different things.” He finished with a steady smile, not breaking contact with the fans watching.

 

The rest of the boys clapped wildly before the cameras were turned off. “5, 4, 3, 2..1! Good job, boys!” The staff called out, clapping as they began to clean up the cake, sparklers, and other decorations in the blink of an eye.

 

Mark watched it all unfold, silent as he observed a staff member pulling the Dream balloon letters away. Silent as he watched their group pictures being taken down, the timer signifying just minutes before midnight being tossed aside, the crafts they’d done for the fans tumbled into a box, their letters and journals pawed off to their manager.

 

A lump grew in his throat, too big to swallow away as he felt something heavy sink into his heart. The world spun, his lead-filled legs stumbled.

 

“Mark? Mark,” Donghyuck was at his side now, arms embraced around the elder. “Mark, it’s ok.”

 

“It’s all ending,” Mark choked out, fighting back the tears that he knew were coming. “I won’t promote with you all again.. not as NCT DREAM anyway.”

 

“But Mark.. it’s just growing up.” Chenle murmured, coming over to him with the others. “Just growing up?” Mark allowed the members to hold onto him, comfort for them or him he didn’t know. “Growing up seems pretty scary now,” he managed to laugh. “It means responsibility. It means separating. It means learning to let go, doesn’t it?”

 

“Mark, you’ve done so well without us already. You know you can do this. It’s not like you’re leaving us completely.”

 

Everyone knew all of these words were useless. It hurt them as much as it hurt Mark, as much as it hurt the fans.

 

“Come on.” Jaemin prompted, taking Mark’s hand. “Let’s go before we miss it.”

 

He led them all outside to a grassy hill looking out into the night sky decorated with stars. It was quiet, and it was peaceful, and it was sad; Mark felt heavy as he sat down next to Renjun. He only felt like screaming whatever was trapped in his heart out into the silent abyss.

 

“It’ll be time soon.” Jeno spoke. “We shouldn’t be sad, so why are we?”

 

“It’s Mark’s fault,” Jisung teased, but his words sounded empty. “I-isn’t it always Mark’s fault?”

 

“I’m sorry,” Mark mumbled, and Donghyuck grabbed his hand again. “Why?”

 

“Because of _this_ . Because you all have to cry because of me, and because we’ll never be the same now, and because I’m going to lose you all,” Mark felt hot tears slip down his cheeks. He let them stay there, burning and angry and hurt- not towards Dream, but _for_ Dream. “Why did we agree to this concept?” He let out a choked laugh.

 

“Because it was the best opportunity that you could ever have? And because you didn’t expect it to hurt this badly?” Jaemin sighed, his gaze still on the dark sky.

 

“Because I didn’t think I’d meet people like you.”

 

Everyone looked at Mark, watching his eyes shine as he turned to face them. “Do you all ever just think? That after this, four more of you are leaving? And one year later, Chenle will leave? And then Jisung?”

 

“Mark-”  


“This is the last time we’ll be known as NCT Dream. The original, _whole_ NCT Dream. What will be left after all of this ends? Aren’t you ever scared, that we won’t see each other anymore? That we’ll be so separated, so many, that this is just the end for us?”

 

“We can’t. We won’t,” Chenle denied vehemently. “It’s us you’re talking about. You know that.. Don’t we know it?”

 

“I don’t know it. But I know..things are about to change,” Jeno said quietly, and he pointed to the sky. Everyone fell silent, and they could hear the chants inside the building.

 

“5!”

 

“4!”

 

“3!”

 

“2!”

 

“1!”

 

So many people were screaming, but each member stayed silent, watching the sky erupt into fire.

 

 _The whole world stares up in wonder at the night sky._ __  
_oh what a marvel to see our dreams so realized._ __  
_but all these bright lights run together after a while_ __  
_and our blaze of glory turns ordinary over night._  


 

It was a whisper, so quiet with the pops and crackles of the fireworks, but everyone heard the words.

 

“We did it. We’ve done it... _Happy New Year_.”

 

“Happy New Year,” Donghyuck told Mark, his soft voice tickling Mark’s ear. His arms wrapped around the elder, and the other members joined in the link of arms.

 

“It felt so long ago,” Jeno smiled, “That we were scared to debut. That we were playing on the Disney show and training together. That we were struggling on those hoverboards.”

 

“It felt like forever ago, that we were winning our first award. Crying and singing with cracked voices,” Jisung grinned sadly. “Watching the older members go everywhere and take care of us.”

 

“Mark took care of us,” Renjun said. “We’ve taken care of each other, and did a damn good job if we’ve gotten this far.”

 

‘We’ve gotten _so_ far.”

 

“We’ve done well, haven’t we?” Donghyuck asked, nodding before he could even get a response. “Of course we have. We’re _the_ NCT Dream. That’ll never change no matter how much everything else changes.”

 

“It never occured to me how much I could miss you guys.” The exploding light shone in Mark’s eyes. “It’s just, _now_ it’s finally sinking in that..”\

 

“We’re not over.” Jaemin interrupted. “Don’t say it.”

 

“Are we ever going to be ready?” Mark questioned aloud. “Are we ever going to be ready for the actual separation? Are we ever going to admit what we all know is _true_?”

 

“I don’t care,” Chenle answered. “I don’t care about that anymore. I don’t want to remember our last times as a group filled with crying. I want to remember all the good times.”

 

Mark exhaled, a deep shuddering breath that shook his whole body.  “You’re right. I’ve always told you, I’ll look back on these memories and come back to you guys. A part of me will always be here then.”

 

“Let’s just think of those best moments,” Renjun agreed, a tear escaping his eyes. “At the end, that’s all that matters anyway.” They fell silent, dreaming of those past memories and listening to the bittersweet tune of a new, fresh year.

 

“You promise you won’t bully each other when I’m gone?” Mark asked. “We only bully you, Mark.” Jisung smiled.

 

“You promise you won’t chant without me?”

 

“We only do it with you, Mark.”

 

“Then, you promise you’ll win awards without me?”

 

“We’ll only do it for you, Mark.”

 

“Then,” Mark murmured,” I’m proud of us.”

 

 __  
_I am happy, I am thankful and I am proud_ __  
_said with a smile for the cameras at the countdown._ __  
_but all these bright lights run together after a while_ _  
__and our blaze of glory turns ordinary over night._

**Author's Note:**

> yeah, im sad, its been a long day and im crying because of Mark Lee and Dream. so its late and its messy and bad lmao, i'll probably delete it but enjoy my sad mess.


End file.
